But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
