That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
