New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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