If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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