well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
