that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
