connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
