Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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