I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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