i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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