How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize