Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
