I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
