guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
