dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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