If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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