He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Randomize
