Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
