I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
