It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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