Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
