You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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