You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
We left an ass print on the piano.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
jump out the window naked night went bad
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