new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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