Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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