not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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