At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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