so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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