He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
