he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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