STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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