the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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