I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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