I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you traded sex for a burrito?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
