So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize