Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
