He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
