1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
