you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
