yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
