Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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