I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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