i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
