I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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