Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
