I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize