I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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