I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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