adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize