that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
