I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize