I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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