I wish I only lived at night.
i love accidental penises.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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