So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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