rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
