My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
