can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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