I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
