I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
