Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
