Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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