But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
