The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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