your thong is hanging out like whoa
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize