i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
