you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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