I think I am morally bankrupt
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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